RAIN RAIN, GO AWAY

don't know where to go from here

It's Sunday and I didn't go to church today. I went to the dam last night and then went over to Mr Orange's place to play CNC. I was so tired but just had to try the hard army at least once to convince myself that I'm now a PRO at it hahaha. But I got trashed. Those buggers. Anyway, fell asleep and when I woke up it was already 8.30am but I just couldn't drag my sorry ass out of bed. To cut the long story short, dad's pissed x10 and I still haven't spoken to him yet.

Yeah well..my parents have been pressuring me to get hitched or at least, engaged. Especially dad. I can't believe it. They're saying that we spend too much time together and should start planning or something. Just about last week, I was at Mr Orange's house and his mum said we should get registered and buy a house together. I doubt either of us are ready. And I'm chicken shit. I don't deny I have a commitment problem. It don't mean I'm fooling ard, yeah but well..u get the drift. There are just so many WHAT IFS going through my mind. The biggest of all being whether I can depend on him and whether he will be there for me. Mr Orange has been pretty nice to me, to an extent. But the feeling he's given to me until now is that he's not very responsible and rather stingy. He definitely loves himself the most, there is no competition. I'm not sure where I even stand on his list.

Anyway, I think he has more or less also arrived at the same conclusion as me and hasn't brought this matter up again. I don't know which direction we're heading but it seems pretty bleak at this point of time, so to speak. I do hope things turn out alright (fingers crossed, wish me luck)

posted by xblowfishx @ 7:03 PM