What's gonna happen
My dad's condition seems to be getting worse. He's in alot of pain and sometimes he can't sleep at night. Yesterday, on the way to the office he told me he knows he won't be around for much longer. Someone asked me, do I really want my dad to continue this suffering or wouldn't it be better if his suffering ended and he went home to God. How am I supposed to reply to that? Of cos I want my dad to be around because I am selfish and I want to see him and talk to him. I know I'll miss him alot if he's not around and I can't bring myself to imagine that. I think this time round it's different. Even my dad told me. He said it's cos the last time he wasn't prepared to leave yet but this time he is prepared.I feel very sad. As much as I bitch about my parents, I know the only person who truly cares about me in this world is him. I can still remember last time he told me not to cry and must be strong. I really can't imagine going home and not seeing him around. Life sucks. He has to start his chemo next week and will be very sick. I really really hope and pray that things will take a turn for the better. I really don't know how to deal with this. My world is spinning and my pillar is collapsing. I am very scared honestly. VERY. I hate the feeling of missing someone and I hate memories. This really sucks. I feel like crying now. I guess my mum must be feeling worse than me. I must believe that God will intervene. I believe i believe i believe i believe i believe
posted by xblowfishx @ 1:40 PM
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