RAIN RAIN, GO AWAY

Anticipation~~~~

I'm going to Sydney next week, I think I need the break. Why I'm not going to Melbourne? I don't know too. Just gotta get away for some hibernation and full time moping which I can't seem to do around the house. My mum's already suspecting something's not right and keeps asking Lemon and LCP where's Mr Orange. And how come he hasn't been around for such a long time.

Aaarrrrr!!!!! It's so tempting just to give in and believe all his lies again but I can't. I'm not prepared to live my life like this. I DON'T need him. Nope I don't. I can find someone better I'm sure of it. Since he doesn't appreciate me, then I'll eventually find someone who does. I don't need to put up with this kinddof crap honestly.

I don't expect to come back with a clear mind totally but I need some down time to just get over this. And not hoping to see him again. I will get over this, I know I will. Maybe I'll just fly over to Melb to see PJ since she's been asking me to go over for a long time. Should I contact Six? Nah, not a good idea esp since i have a broken heart. Or maybe he can help :p See, I survived Six. What's so hard to let go about Mr Orange? But I miss him. Ok, it's just a figment of my imagination. Nothing more. I don't miss him and I can't believe his lies. No no nononono......

Can't wait for Sunday to come and get away from this place.

posted by xblowfishx @ 1:11 PM 0 comments

Left or Right?

Sometimes knowing the truth hurts. Maybe doing the right thing is never easy because it certainly feels like hell now. I miss him so much but I know I must not waiver now or I will have to keep going through the same torture over and over again because he will never change. I really thought he was the one I was going to spend the rest of my life with but I guess not. I have been hoping for far too long that he will change but apparently I am wrong. This is a serious misjudgement on my part. But then why am I missing him so much? This really sucks because I just feel like crying and he's out having his fun. Why am I still so stupid? I guess none of us has learnt anything from past experience. He will just keep on doing the things he does and I will just go on loving him. So so dumb. Feels downright terrible now

Dear God, please grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change those I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

posted by xblowfishx @ 11:01 AM 0 comments