RAIN RAIN, GO AWAY

Roller coaster ride

My dad got his test results on Friday and it didn't sound very good. The cancer has spread everywhere and the doc told him that it seems that the chemo that he is currently doing is not working anymore. He recommended my dad to try traditional chinese medicine and also to go for another type of chemo which is extremely expensive. Mum's pretty worried about the expenses. I've decided to go back to work for them. How can I not care about them at this point? I owe them this much at least.

This morning I went to church. I haven't been going for a month. U.N. saw me and he asked me straightaway if everything was ok. I said ok but he asked if my relationship was working out. I said no. He asked if it happened about 3 weeks ago. I asked if someone told him but he said no, he just had a very uneasy feeling and had been praying for me. Then he told me, when he first met Mr Orange, he already had a bad feeling about him because he had a dodgy behaviour. He said he saw Mr Orange checking girls out when he was at my church. Can you believe that??? Actually if he weren't checking the girls out, how would he notice Ade. His eyes are really sharp when noticing girls, that's for sure. I asked UN whether he thinks people will change. He said yes, people do change. But that is if they TRULY regret what they did and IF they WANT to change. He also said womanizing is a weakness. I don't know what is he implying with this. But from my perspective, a weakness will always be there. I mean, he might change now, but the temptation is always there. ALWAYS. And he is a very weak person. And if womanizing is his weakness, then I guess I made the right choice to stay away, hard as it is.

I really wish I could fast forward this part of my life. Nothing seems to be going very well at this point and I am so exhausted. One thing after another and there is nothing I can do about either. This isn't quite so funny anymore. Ok, time to move along now... I'm gonna channel all my energy to my work and family. Oh ya, I met up with Ben after so many years and he introduced some new friends to me. It's really great I got time to meet up with my old friends now. After all said, only God is faithful.

posted by xblowfishx @ 3:44 PM