RAIN RAIN, GO AWAY

Exhileration!!

I finally msged Mr Orange this morning and asked him to help me by not replying to my msgs or calls. Anyway, in between those msgs, those things he said just sounded so lame and so immatured and I AM SO SICK of his lies and crap.

I deserve more than this. He can take all his nonsense and stuff it up his arxx. The past few days I felt like I was living in hell. Just walking around like a zombie, couldn't think or concentrate on whatever I was doing and there he was having fun outside with a total disregard of my feelings. Why am I being punished for his mistakes? I decided to stop. I am stronger than this, I can do it. I must get myself out of this to get well.

I know this time round I can. He knows I'm very insecure and he went away without saying anything AND without so much as a call or msg. He isn't trying very hard and he's not helping to remove any of the insecurities and just adding to it. I think it's pointless. He can go do whatever he wants. I don't give a shiate about him anymore.

All said, I hope this momentum can keep up because I know me. Sometimes I just do things at the spur of the moment and regret it later. I can i can i can.... Bucks has been helping me through this alot. He said to me "young lady, you can do this. You are stronger than this." Thank God for the friends he sent to help me along the way.

posted by xblowfishx @ 10:47 PM