ended
My birthday just passed on Monday. Another year older!!! I can't believe I'm fast approaching the big 3, where did all the years go?I changed my number about some 3 weeks ago. I guess it was something that needed to be done a long time ago but I just got round to doing finally. I didn't want to get stuck in the never ending Mr Orange phase of my like. Deep down though, I kept hoping that somehow I'd hear from him. And hey, guess what? He sent me an email, saying that he tried to call me at midnight to wish me happy birthday but the line wasn't in use and he decided to send me the greetings through email.
By the way, Ste and I broke up on Tuesday for good. It sounds like I'm in this big drama of a movie. It really sucks. We decided to get back again to try working at it. From the moment I walked back in, I sensed that somehow everything had already changed. We got into arguments everyday over the smallest silliest things. I was really devastated because this time round, I wanted it to work and I tried. He was less patient with me and every small thing became an issue between us. It doesn't help that we both have explosive temper.
Ste told me this; there are 2 men in this relationship. You want to lead and I am a man, so naturally I want to lead too. You think black, I think white. We have so much differences, it's so hard to make this work. My feelings for you never changed but my behavior towards you did after all that fighting and arguing.
Sometimes love just ain't enough. How strong does that sentence hold true? You would think after all these ups and downs, I would be the biggest cynic on love. Call me stupid, but I believe that if it wasn't enough, then it probably wasn't love or simply not enough. Love changes a person and the world that revolves around them. When we are apart, it feels like a piece of my soul is missing. If separation is so tough, why was it when we were together, we don't make it a point to remember how tough it was to be apart? I didn't expect that it would be this way, this reaction. The incredibly horrible painful stabbing feeling at my heart.
I am going to take a break for awhile. I'm tired of getting my heart broken when I thought it was safe to let someone else in.
posted by xblowfishx @ 7:25 PM
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