RAIN RAIN, GO AWAY

God's angels

I broke resolution no.2 today. *rolls eyes* (can continue rolling till cows come home)
Ok, it comes as no big surprise. I texted Ste this morning and until now 1059pm still NO reply. I even called him to see if he was alive but NO answer and not even a courtesy call back.
nb *1106pm he is sleeping

Let me get this over and done with quickly regarding resolution numero due. Mr Orange texted me and asked if I were home. Long story short, he said he wanted to pass me something and I met him outside my house. He gave me my favorite strawberry pocky sticks and a cute little turtle. I meant a soft toy. Not a real life turtle or I'd freak. Why is he doing this? I am flabbergasted.

Resolution numero due has already been broken as I went against better judgement and threw shit on myself. BUT, I am still determined to follow it through not gonna give up just because of a minor hiccup. **takes hanky and cleans shit off myself**

Today, may be the day that my life changes. Or at least my perspective on life. One of my long lost friend walked back into my life not quite so long ago. Maybe a few months back. We met up again today for some drinks and dinner. As usual, she was listening to me bitchin about my non-existent love life.

I have this fear of growing old, to hit the big 3 really really bad. She asked me if I had ever lost a really close friend before. I said no, except my dad and grandma. She told me she is HIV positive. Somehow I knew she wasn't joking. It was like someone squeezed my heart. This was what she said to me "I hope to see 30. You're scared to grow old, I would like to be able to live it." I do not know how to explain this feeling I have in me. She told me this, not knowing whether she could trust me, just so that I could live my life better. In a better way. To get out of the rut which, I have planted myself so deeply in. I know she doesn't really believe in God and has stopped going to church. God has His plans for all of us. She is God's angel to me. The timing which we happen to walk back into each other's lives. And the fact that usually when I say to someone, sure we'll meet up but never do. Or the fact that I so persistently wanted to see her again must not have been coincidences. God is doing something. We just have to wait and see. If only I knew how to fully let go and trust God.

Thank you Lord for the angels.

posted by xblowfishx @ 10:56 PM